Friday, August 22, 2014

#justrunnerthings

There's not really an overarching narrative to this post, or any running tips, or even a larger running story. This is about that just____things trend that happens on Instagram and Tumblr and Twitter. You know the trend, it usually looks something like this:


However, I noticed that there is a deficit of these things for runners. I thought of a few, and I love illustrating things, so I did some. Here they are, with a little bit of commentary.


Running shoes are the only piece of equipment that is basically required for each and every one of your runs. (Unless you're a barefoot runner, but I don't associate with those people [except for my barefoot running followers on Twitter, hi guys, I love you!].) (Sorry for the excessive parentheses [yeah, sorry {really sorry!}!].)

So there's a bit of an emotional attachment that comes with getting rid of a pair of them, and I personally have never had the heart to just throw them out. I feel that other runners understand this need for ceremony, hence the picture.


This is a phenomenon that I discovered after I started doing much longer runs that stretched into hours of the day that could actually tan my skin. The picture really says it all, and yeah, because runners hold their arms at right angles, the crooks of their elbows don't get burned. It's weird, but it's like this weird distinguishing diamond tattoo I can use to determine if someone is both a runner and a strange pale creature, like myself.


I love MapMyRun, but sometimes you just don't need to hear how slowly you're going. If I'm having a bad run, I KNOW I'm having a bad run, so having a tiny electronic lady basically say, "Satellites have coordinated and beamed electronic signals hundreds of miles just so I can tell you what a slow, useless person you are. Go faster!"


Finally, there's something both beautiful and frustrating about how hard it is to burn 1000 calories, and then how easy it is to eat all of that back. It teaches you to eat healthier just so you can make sure to eat LOTS of stuff, and it's also incredibly satisfying to eat carby, protein-dripping cheeseburgers and mashed potatoes and steak after a long run.

It usually doesn't feel like you're overeating, even when you're eating something calorie-rich. You've earned it. Have a beer.